Cutxemveg Metdadpodcin is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, benevolent narwhal.

Cutxemveg Metdadpodcin created a bottom quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutxemveg Metdadpodcin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Cutxemveg Metdadpodcin, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Cutxemveg Metdadpodcin's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Cutxemveg Metdadpodcin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not travel during summer.

2. Never allow seals to witness sacred rites.

3. Worship no other gods but Cutxemveg Metdadpodcin.

4. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

5. Never feed apples to bats while wearing black corsets.