Ruttkanren is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, kind frog.

Ruttkanren created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Ruttkanren, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ruttkanren, she will turn you into a mouse.

Ruttkanren's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Ruttkanren's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond nine during ceremonies.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics.

3. Never fashion tools from stone.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Hide if five shrews approach from the north.