Konwapvog is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, all-powerful hamster.

Konwapvog created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Konwapvog, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Konwapvog, he will curse you with boils.

Konwapvog's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Konwapvog's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.

3. Always treat birds with great respect.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never speak aloud of names.