Japarfyar is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, sapient dugong.

Japarfyar created dark energy three million years ago.

If you believe in Japarfyar, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Japarfyar, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Japarfyar's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Japarfyar's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Japarfyar.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always wear brown.

4. Always share strawberries with strangers, but never with dolphins.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.