Pakmobmet is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, self-assured snail.

Pakmobmet created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pakmobmet, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pakmobmet, it will throw large rocks at you.

Pakmobmet's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Pakmobmet's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about asteroids.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pakmobmet.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Never think about dark energy.