Hitguprull is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, two-faced narwhal.

Hitguprull created water nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitguprull, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hitguprull, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Hitguprull's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Hitguprull's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Hitguprull.

2. Do not keep three eagles in a large pit.

3. Never go into fawn rooms.

4. Never think ill of sick turtles.

5. Never feed oranges to nematodes while wearing indigo skirts.