Kapruttmit is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, humorless turtle.

Kapruttmit created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kapruttmit, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kapruttmit, it will ignore you.

Kapruttmit's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Kapruttmit's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Erect four aluminium sculptures of Kapruttmit on top of important buildings.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Never feed coconuts to gulls while wearing yellow trousers.