Bighabhasdad is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, idiotic slug.

Bighabhasdad created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bighabhasdad, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bighabhasdad, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Bighabhasdad's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bighabhasdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never stain your arms with purple.

2. Never think about optics near hamsters while wearing blue trousers and balancing five tin spheres on your neck.

3. Never hurt ants.

4. Always obey Bighabhasdad's priests.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bighabhasdad.