Vadbesttif is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, pitiless cow.

Vadbesttif created an electron twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vadbesttif, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vadbesttif, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vadbesttif's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Vadbesttif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair orange.

2. Do not gather at bridges at midday.

3. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Vadbesttif on top of all buildings.

4. Do not speak of quantum gravity near sacred fires.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.