Jontettigun Tinflybonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, calm crab.

Jontettigun Tinflybonk created tapeworms nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Jontettigun Tinflybonk, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jontettigun Tinflybonk, he will think nothing of it.

Jontettigun Tinflybonk's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Jontettigun Tinflybonk's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Feed all hungry ducks.

3. Never run in the presence of elders.

4. Never gather four manatees near walls.

5. Do not wear indigo clothing.