Lunmapwig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, narcissistic troll.

Lunmapwig created a top quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunmapwig, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lunmapwig, it will be very unhappy.

Lunmapwig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Lunmapwig's Holy Commandments

1. Heed all signs.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

3. Never point your chest toward the west during prayer.

4. Never adorn your back with violet markings.

5. Shun those given to cruelty.