Zimzakpog is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, fussy lion.

Zimzakpog created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimzakpog, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zimzakpog, she will turn you into a goat.

Zimzakpog's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Zimzakpog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt sheep.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never discuss eukaryotes in public assemblies.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Zimzakpog must be the most important thing in your life.