Laknurort is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, impressive dog.

Laknurort created the world nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laknurort, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Laknurort, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Laknurort's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Laknurort's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Shun those given to greed.

4. Never skip in the presence of porpoises.

5. Do not study the inheritance of acquired characteristics on holy days.