Yattlarpfas is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, merciful hyena.

Yattlarpfas created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattlarpfas, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yattlarpfas, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yattlarpfas' most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Yattlarpfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always share peanuts with strangers, but never with tortoises.

3. Worship no other gods but Yattlarpfas.

4. Yattlarpfas must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.