Tunbessflow is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, astonishing mongoose.

Tunbessflow created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunbessflow, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Tunbessflow, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tunbessflow's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Tunbessflow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon indigo earth.

2. Never pray while filled with pride.

3. Never gather five swans in one place.

4. Never carve symbols of stars into wood.

5. Retreat if three turtles approach from the west.