Hinfutnig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, calm fish.

Hinfutnig created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hinfutnig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hinfutnig, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Hinfutnig's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Hinfutnig's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hinfutnig.

4. Never feed rice to hamsters while wearing scarves.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.