Fonkinrap is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, temperamental chinchilla.

Fonkinrap created an up quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fonkinrap, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Fonkinrap, it will strike you with lightening.

Fonkinrap's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Fonkinrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Always share grapes with strangers, but never with monkeys.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Fonkinrap.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always stare at clouds.