Titmotnab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unjust bear.

Titmotnab created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titmotnab, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Titmotnab, she will turn you into a tree.

Titmotnab's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Titmotnab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine porpoises in a large pit.

2. Do not contemplate fluid mechanics during the night.

3. Never allow hamsters to witness sacred rites.

4. Do not consume peas at dawn.

5. Never pour water over plants.