Pignillwip is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, omniscient wolf.

Pignillwip created energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pignillwip, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Pignillwip, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Pignillwip's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Pignillwip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Do not step barefoot upon red earth.

3. Do not drink water in green rooms.

4. Erect five nickel sculptures of Pignillwip on top of important buildings.

5. Never approach crossroads carrying bone.