Kemkipcib is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident faun.

Kemkipcib created an up quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kemkipcib, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kemkipcib, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kemkipcib's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Kemkipcib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not contemplate the weak nuclear force during the night.

2. Always remove boots before entering holy places.

3. Always make sure there are no geese in a room before entering it.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

5. Do not prepare coconuts while filled with joy.