Tanwanfid is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, uncaring cow.

Tanwanfid created a Higgs boson nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tanwanfid, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Tanwanfid, he will turn you into a slug.

Tanwanfid's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Tanwanfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed garlic to sheep while wearing shirts.

2. Never feed turnips to grasshopers while wearing mauve tights.

3. Do not contemplate electromagnetism during the night.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not skip in public.