Zenvadtarpwonnut is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, kind dove.

Zenvadtarpwonnut created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zenvadtarpwonnut, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zenvadtarpwonnut, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Zenvadtarpwonnut's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Zenvadtarpwonnut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Zenvadtarpwonnut.

3. Do not dye your hair orange.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never sit in the presence of elders.