Hivhatflig is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, deceitful ant.

Hivhatflig created bats two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivhatflig, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Hivhatflig, it will have a low opinion of you.

Hivhatflig's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Hivhatflig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help rats.

2. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

3. Hide from gray monkeys for they are unholy.

4. Never feed lots of coconuts to mites while wearing turquoise jumpers.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near badgers while wearing blue corsets and balancing three gold spheres on your back.