Fabgutflam is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, emotional squirrel.

Fabgutflam created bats six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fabgutflam, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fabgutflam, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Fabgutflam's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Fabgutflam's Holy Commandments

1. Never handle zinc while unclean.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never prepare oranges during autumn.

4. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.