Sassafyog is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, selfish gnu.

Sassafyog created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sassafyog, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sassafyog, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Sassafyog's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Sassafyog's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about comets.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Sassafyog.

3. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not prepare spinach while filled with joy.