Armwikstik Fadpitciss is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, compassionate ant.

Armwikstik Fadpitciss created a down quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Armwikstik Fadpitciss, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Armwikstik Fadpitciss, she will turn you into a puffin.

Armwikstik Fadpitciss' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Armwikstik Fadpitciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Never feed lots of grapes to birds while wearing blue corsets.

3. Do not kill grasshopers.

4. Do not step barefoot upon violet earth.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.