Legkamweg is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, self-confident frog.

Legkamweg created the Sun nine million years ago.

If you believe in Legkamweg, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Legkamweg, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Legkamweg's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Legkamweg's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Legkamweg.

3. Erect a giant yellow sculpture of Legkamweg in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never speak at midday.

5. Legkamweg loves gulls, so they must be respected.