Abgepnibquart is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, selfish manatee.

Abgepnibquart created energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Abgepnibquart, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Abgepnibquart, she will turn you into a rat.

Abgepnibquart's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Abgepnibquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not speak about strawberries.

3. Never speak at midnight.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics.