Vogomingum Gofnigril is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, selfish owl.

Vogomingum Gofnigril created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Vogomingum Gofnigril, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vogomingum Gofnigril, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Vogomingum Gofnigril's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Vogomingum Gofnigril's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never tolerate cries in holy places.

3. Erect a giant platinum sculpture of Vogomingum Gofnigril in the centre of the settlement.

4. Retreat if five gulls approach from the east.

5. Never prepare pineapples during winter.