Zakhigyarpflap is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, unthoughtful human.

Zakhigyarpflap created the Andromeda Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zakhigyarpflap, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Zakhigyarpflap, she will turn you into a worm.

Zakhigyarpflap's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Zakhigyarpflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow mites to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Never stain your feet with purple.

3. Put Zakhigyarpflap first in all things.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

5. Do not cook food in pots.