Bitwee is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, competent whale.

Bitwee created the planet Venus nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bitwee, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bitwee, it will torture you forever.

Bitwee's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Bitwee's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat corn.

2. Never gather seven monkeys near bridges.

3. Do not gather at towers at midday.

4. Never remain kneeling at dawn.

5. Never point your arms toward the west during prayer.