Xempagkapnullfosszannarl is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, conceited scorpion.

Xempagkapnullfosszannarl created an atom nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xempagkapnullfosszannarl, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xempagkapnullfosszannarl, it will laugh at you.

Xempagkapnullfosszannarl's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Xempagkapnullfosszannarl's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from black manatees for they are unholy.

2. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always help sick bats.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.