Dubkanfas is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ill-tempered bear.

Dubkanfas created an atom four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dubkanfas, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dubkanfas, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Dubkanfas' most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Dubkanfas' Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never talk about chlorophyll.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never sprint in holy places.