Jenarmbun is a god.

It takes the form of a small, quiet mole.

Jenarmbun created viruses five million years ago.

If you believe in Jenarmbun, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jenarmbun, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Jenarmbun's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Jenarmbun's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Jenarmbun in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

4. Never eat garlic.

5. Do not chop down trees.