Vonlibgut is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, astonishing duck.

Vonlibgut created dark matter seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonlibgut, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vonlibgut, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Vonlibgut's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Vonlibgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

2. Do not keep five doves in a large pit.

3. Shrews are not to be trusted.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always act with purity when addressing children.