Sadloopsom is a god.

She takes the form of a small, uncaring parrot.

Sadloopsom created Europe three million years ago.

If you believe in Sadloopsom, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sadloopsom, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Sadloopsom's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Sadloopsom's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.