Figcemgut is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, unsympathetic swallow.

Figcemgut created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Figcemgut, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Figcemgut, it will turn you into a rock.

Figcemgut's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Figcemgut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion tools from silicon.

2. Never look at galaxies.

3. Always remove kilts before entering holy places.

4. Remain bowed during prayer.

5. Never fashion tools from wood.