Cimgepquat is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, blissful slug.

Cimgepquat created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimgepquat, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cimgepquat, he will not care at all.

Cimgepquat's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Cimgepquat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not name children after sheep.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never run near porpoises.

4. Always count to four before sleeping.

5. Respect your elders.