Lagtimceb is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, fast swan.

Lagtimceb created the Large Magellanic Cloud three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagtimceb, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lagtimceb, she will not care at all.

Lagtimceb's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Lagtimceb's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Lagtimceb loves snails, so they must be respected.

3. Always cleanse your hands after touching titanium.

4. Never travel toward the north during winter.

5. Never feed tomatoes to cats while wearing tights.