Hinsakarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, moody eagle.

Hinsakarp created viruses four years ago.

If you believe in Hinsakarp, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hinsakarp, he will not care at all.

Hinsakarp's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Hinsakarp's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always keep your back turned to the north at sunset.

3. Do not wear indigo clothing.

4. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

5. Heed all portents.