Fitrenflab is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, blissful porpoise.

Fitrenflab created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitrenflab, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fitrenflab, she will torture you forever.

Fitrenflab's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Fitrenflab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to snails while wearing kilts.

2. Remain standing during prayer.

3. Never mention hamsters.

4. Never bounce in winter.

5. Always obey Fitrenflab's priests.