Catgoveen is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omnipotent dryad.

Catgoveen created humanity seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Catgoveen, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Catgoveen, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Catgoveen's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Catgoveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention badgers.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

4. Never think about planets.

5. Always face the north before speaking sacred words.