Kiphimvon is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, loving jellyfish.

Kiphimvon created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kiphimvon, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Kiphimvon, she will cry a lot.

Kiphimvon's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Kiphimvon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight lead sculptures of Kiphimvon on top of important buildings.

2. Always wash your back before prayer.

3. Never hop near moths.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never prepare lemons during autumn.