Vadlam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, generous chicken.

Vadlam created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vadlam, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Vadlam, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vadlam's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Vadlam's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not prepare bread while filled with anger.

3. Never think about dark energy.

4. Never wear green scarves.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.