Babsatditxen is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless penguin.

Babsatditxen created silver seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Babsatditxen, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Babsatditxen, she will send you a sign.

Babsatditxen's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Babsatditxen's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Always store bananas above ground.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Put Babsatditxen first in all things.