Yarplargyar is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, staggering crow.

Yarplargyar created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Yarplargyar, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Yarplargyar, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Yarplargyar's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yarplargyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Never speak aloud of numbers.

4. Never speak of balance in the presence of strangers.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.