Laghamlop is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid alligator.

Laghamlop created an up quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laghamlop, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Laghamlop, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Laghamlop's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Laghamlop's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near seals while wearing violet stockings and balancing seven lead spheres on your head.

2. Never mention mites.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not wear titanium on your body.

5. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in red.