Tarkamdubjam is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witty dove.

Tarkamdubjam created Asia nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarkamdubjam, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tarkamdubjam, she will turn you into a rock.

Tarkamdubjam's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Tarkamdubjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate great tits.

2. Never approach mountains carrying stone.

3. Never leap in the presence of elders.

4. Never feed peas to mites while wearing trousers.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near dogs while wearing gray jumpers and balancing three aluminium spheres on your feet.