Weedadcub is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, selfish owl.

Weedadcub created dark energy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Weedadcub, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Weedadcub, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Weedadcub's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Weedadcub's Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity.

2. Pray only in darkness.

3. Run away from purple dogs, for they are unholy.

4. Always cleanse ash with water.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.