Quillamaf is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, prudent cat.

Quillamaf created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Quillamaf, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Quillamaf, he will turn you into a frog.

Quillamaf's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Quillamaf's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve horses, for they are unholy.

2. Never chant while facing north.

3. Do not hurt seals.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never leap near dolphins.